Sorry friends... this isn't a funny post. Here's what's on my heart....
3 years ago, around the time that Daniel and I got married, God laid on my heart foster care. I knew it wasn't the right time so I tabled it for a while. For a YEAR everywhere I looked, there were signs, posters, church bulletins and even foster care families! I was like, seriously God, I get it... ONE day you want me to CONSIDER foster care!
2 years ago, Daniel and I made the call to Lancaster County DSS when I saw a job posting I was interested in helping find foster care children homes and also occasionally doing short term fostering. As we were going through the paperwork process, I found out I was pregnant so we decided it wasn't the right time.
So now.... it's on my heart AGAIN!!!! Once again, everywhere I look, there it is! Church the other week talked about it, it was in the church bulletin, I met a precious baby at Target that a family was fostering, a child in Parker's My Gym class is being fostered.... it's haunting me! Haunting is the wrong word... it's on my heart and I'm not sure what it means.
Daniel and I have a great home. Parker is a precious kid and I genuinely believe that we COULD do it. We could provide a baby or toddler a wonderful, safe place to escape to for a while so why am I SOO hesitant? I think it's because I don't want Parker to feel slighted by me having to split my attention. Then again, God has blessed me with a baby that loves company and isn't really jealous. Am I hesitant because it would break my heart to give a baby back to a terrible situation? But then I could give him or her a wonderful few days/weeks/months that he/she wouldn't have otherwise. See my dilemma?
Anyways, these are my thoughts. My heart and mind are torn. I KNOW God is putting this on my heart and I KNOW I keep pushing it to the side but it's SOOO hard to just trust and say "OK, Lord... we're gonna do it!" Basically, I think I need prayers for clarity, wisdom, discernment, strength and whatever else you want to pray for me!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.JPG)
Taylor, you're an amazing mom and I understand your dilemma...in a sense I have the same thoughts about ever having another child. It's awesome that you are even considering it...that takes A LOT that most families can't even bring themselves to consider. You're in my thoughts and prayers girl. You're answer will come with time. And you're right..."Letting go, and letting God" is way hard! Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteWithout meaning to sound trite...Just Do It.
ReplyDeletehey there, i know you don't know me, but i found your blog via other blogs...and i just read this post. i've thought about fostering/adoption all of it a million times. i'm not married right now, so it's not even something in the near future for me, but it's definitely on my heart...so i understand. and i think my biggest fear always was i couldn't grow to love a child then give them up. i'll say a prayer for you, that God will guide you, and help you...that you will know what is the right way for you to be involved. best wishes!
ReplyDelete