Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Midweek Confession Link Up!

Y'all... I'm typing this alone.... in sweet, blissful silence. Parker is playing at a friend's house, Liam is "napping," and Avery actually is napping. HUZZAH! I should be putting up dishes and other housewifey chores but instead I'm taking some "me" time. E, at E, myself and I is hosting a midweek confession link up and you know I can never pass up a good midweek confession link up!

Here we go!

1. I often find myself watching Antiques Roadshow. Sadly, I find it super entertaining. I don't own a single antique. In fact, I don't really like antiques but I am SHOCKED at what some people's crap is worth! It almost makes me want to become a hoarder.. cause you never know what you're aunt's step father's best friend's carved horse pipe might be worth! In the head to toe Dale Earnhart fan's case on the last episode I watched, it would be worth $25,000. Yes, you read that right.

2. I think my computer is an alcoholic... this week alone it has had a glass of wine and a margarita. I'm gonna have to have a talk with it... or its user.

3. I LOVE my life... but once in a blue moon, I'm envious of my sister's lack of responsibilities. My younger sister lives in NYC. I live in the suburbs of Charlotte. These are our lives.
Note: I would want her life for 1 day (and night and until noon the next day so I could sleep in) ...  and then I'd want my chaotic but blessed life back!

4. I've never owned a pair of Toms. Apparently I'm the only person who hasn't jumped on this bandwagon. I hear camo shoes are SO in this year so I finally tried on a pair of Tomish shoes (they're Steve Madden brand) and I'm in love. I've got not a clue what I'll wear with them but they're like little clouds on my feet.

5. There is a spelling mistake on Avery's preschool "what I did today" report. It bothers me... a lot. I can misspell things all day but when someone else does, it irritates me. #doublestandard

6. I don't have a twitter account but I LOVE to hashtag. Over hashtagging, however, is obnoxious. Keep it to 2... 3 max, friends!

7. Today, I abandoned a cart. {GASP} I NEVER leave a shopping cart in the parking lot. It's rude and lazy. There may be 2 types of people I dislike more than cart abandoners.... 1. terrorist. 2. child abductors. In my defense, Avery and I parked at one end of the shopping complex but the weather was so nice that we walked all the way to Target on the other side. Then, Target happened and I couldn't carry all our treasures to the car. So really, it was Target's fault... or maybe the weather's fault. I still feel guilty.

Well the little miss has woken and is now back asleep in my lap which means I should really spend this time catching on up the DVR and sniffing her. Please tell me you also smell your sleeping babies so I don't sound so strange.

Anyone want to join me? Confess away here or on facebook!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Dear Letters!

A while ago, I confessed that I like to write people "dear letters" in my head. Why? Because it would be inappropriate to actually tell people some of these things but it's kinda like telling them if you add "dear" in front and keep it in your head. You'll feel so much better! Give it a try. Here's mine:

Dear Landscaping Dude,
After brutally killing our "pet" writing spider on the front porch, you have redeemed yourself! Thank you SO much for the spider that you caught in a mason jar and drove out of your way to our house to deliver! Spidey is even bigger than Charlotte was! That was pretty cool of you!

Dear Cat Lady Subaru Forester Driver,
You must live nearby because I see your car a lot. It's hard to miss the single stick figure, 5 cats and 6 additional cats with wings and halos. I bet that if you removed those stickers, or at least all the dead cats and 3 of the living cats, you may find yourself adding a male stick figure to the back window. Just sayin'....

Dear Liam,
Now that Parker and Avery are both potty trained, I've decided I'm done with diapers. I'm gonna need you to be wonder kid and get on board the potty train ASAP.

Dear Chick-fil-a,
When I ask for no pickle, that means I want a sandwich that has never had a pickle on it.... EVER... or even near it, really.  I can still taste it when you peel that gross thing off and the 2 soggy circles in my bun aren't lyin'.... I still love you though!

Dear Parker,
Iron man is awesome. I love that you love Iron Man. But the shirts... oh the shirts. Maybe let's just wear something other than Iron Man for a few days.  Your other clothes miss you.

Dear Sweet School Children,
I'm sorry your school makes you go door to door selling crap with the promise of pizza parties and $.25 Oriental Trading plastic junk. I will set out a bowl of candy and rubber duckies as prizes for not trying to sell me anything. I HATE saying no to your precious faces but I REALLY don't want a citipass or coupons or wrapping paper or dare I say it, even girl scout cookies. Would anyone else rather just pay $100 more a year in taxes to save our children from door to door selling?! Can I get an amen?!

Dear Avery,
You have arguably the most comfortable bed in the house. Please stay in it until the clock says 5 something. You scare me almost every night when your little hand suddenly touches mine as you hoist yourself over me and into the middle of the bed. I love our cuddle time but child, you're going to give me a heart attack sneaking up on me like that! Climb up your dad's side of the bed. He wouldn't wake up anyways.

Dear Miley Cyrus,
No one looks good licking a sledgehammer... NO ONE. While I actually kinda like your wrecking ball song, I'm ashamed to say so because that video is umm....embarrassing to watch.

Dear Santa,
Parker has a list on the ToyRUs website. I may have made a mistake when I taught him to make a wish list on the iPad. It's 72 items long and every one of them are Iron Man or LEGO related. Good luck with that list.

Dear Great Clips Lady,
While I realize I only paid $6.99 for my haircut, I did give you titillating conversation and a decent tip. Why did you cut one side of my hair an inch shorter than the other? Was the coupon for only half my head? Yeah that's right.... I used the word titillating. BOOM.

Dear One Direction,
Don't tell anyone, but I really like your song "Best Song Ever".... it's Liam and my jam. We're pretty awesome car dancers as most of the preschool carpool line now knows.

Dear Husband,
That shiny thing to the right of the sink.... it's a dishwasher.  It's like a jacuzzi for your dishes. They really like it in there with all their buddies. You should try putting your dishes in it! They'd love you forever and so would your wife.

Your turn, friends. Got any good dear letters?

*And before anyone writes snide comments about me not being nice. I'm super sarcastic and this is all meant in good fun.... except the sledgehammer part.... unless your Heidi Klum... she would probably still be beautiful while tonguing a sledgehammer.

Friday, September 6, 2013

That time Parker wore Tinkerbell panties on his head in public

Just another day at the Wise household! 

This morning, I loaded up the swagger wagon and headed to Birkdale where we met my mom for some fun! I packed a super healthy picnic of Chick-fila goodness and we enjoyed lunch by the splash pad. The kids scored some Starbucks cake pops from a random man who accidentally decked Avery when she came out of the potty. He felt SO bad that he bought her a cake pop to make her stop crying. It worked. Parker looked him in the eye and said "I'd like a pink one" so he obliged and bought him one too. I wish more people would knock Avery over in Starbucks if it meant free cake pops!

At first, the kids didn't seem too interested in playing in the splash pad but that didn't last long!
Liam enjoyed batting at the water and rummaging through other people's bags for snacks. Clearly, the chicken nuggets, fries and applesauce I fed him just weren't enough. Kid can eat... so much so that we have to monitor his eating so he doesn't over eat.  Golden Corral Syndrome (GCS for short.... it sounds more like a real medical condition then) is the worst feeling!
Miss. Avery was much more interested in the flowers and birds today. I just adore having a little girl! She makes me stop and appreciate my surrounding much more than I normally would.
In the process of changing Avery into her swimsuit, Parker discovered Avery's Tinkerbell panties and spent the next 15 minutes like this:
Here's the funny thing... Parker doesn't wear underwear. EVER. It's part of his tactile issue but apparently it's completely acceptable to wear on your head. One day he'll be totally grossed out that he wore his sister's USED panties on his face but today, he thought it was great fun! Thankfully, the other patrons at the splash pad were good sports about it. I'll spare you the other 15 pictures I took but they're equally as adorably funny.

OK, I lied.... one more.
This 20 month old boy kept looking at Parker like, "Something is just not right about you!" haha
 We had a rare moment where all 3 kids were still and I heard my mom yell "Grab your camera!" I snapped 8 pictures continuously. It's rare to get all 3 kids close enough to be in the same camera frame, much less {kinda} looking! 
We got back in our play clothes, ate some chocolate TCBY with M&Ms and strolled Birkdale. So basically, to sum our day up... we ate junk food all day and enjoyed being outside. I FINALLY found a pair of tennis shoes that I like at Dick's so I picked those up while we were shopping around. What's with all tennis shoes being florescent these days?!

I feel so blessed looking in my rear view mirror at my car full of sippy cups, smashed goldfish and Iron Man clad kiddos!
Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Mid weekish Confessions

Life is funny. It's also hard. And frustrating. And overwhelming. And unfair. BUT with the right perspective, it's really freakin' funny.... especially with 3 toddlers. Let's all take a moment to laugh at my life....

1. I took all 3 kids into the Target bathroom last week which happened to be very busy. Avery is just recently potty trained so we hit up every public bathroom in site to avoid accidents. You should know I have a phobia of public restrooms to the point of having Parker pee on our tire in the parking lot to avoid them. This time I needed to go too and Avery asked if I was pooping or peeing (hello privacy?!). I told her I was just pee peeing which ended up being a lie thanks to 2 cups of coffee (TMI but hang in there). When I went to flush she yelled, "Mama, you pooped big! BYE POOP! BYE BYE!" while waiving to my swirling poop. I was MORTIFIED.

2. Yesterday, my friend Carrie, came over for a few minutes and the kids were kinda chaotic. Granted, she came over at 4:15 and here's a fair warning... from 4-6:00, someone is usually crying or whining or cracked out... it's my witching hours. Parker yelled for help because he climbed the pantry trying to reach fruit snacks and couldn't get down and Avery climbed our console table to blow out my candle (lesson learned) and then peed... all over the top of my table. There was also a pile of dishes in the sick (oh the horror!) These things don't normally phase me because it's my "normal" but when someone else is over and witnesses my "normal"... it feels not so normal!

3. This one isn't about pee... Parker will only wear Iron Man or LEGO shirts. You think I'm kidding... it gets better. ONLY the Iron Man Mark 42 suit and only the classic LEGO man. He has a closet of POLO and Kelly's Kids and OH the visions of sending P and A to school in coordinating outfits. I feel silly even being super kinda upset about it but I HATE character shirts! Don't ask me if your kid looks cute in his Superman shirt or her Tinkerbell shirt because the answer is no. This is a HUGE lesson in swallowing my pride.... a lesson I'm not super fond of. Fingers crossed that VERY soon he only wants to wear madras shorts and polo shirts. We have family pictures October 27th and I'm already fretting that he'll be wearing an Iron Man costume.... so much so that I asked his occupational therapist if I can pay her to dress him that day... I would, in a heart beat. 

4. Parker isn't very good at blowing so I've started lighting my pumpkin spice candle and having him practice blowing it out. Each time, he sings me happy birthday.... I pretty much love it. 

5. Dear neighborhood friends.... it was Avery who pooped on the side of the pool during the labor day party which then inadvertently got squirted in the pool. In my defense, she DID do her business in the toilet TWICE while we were at the party but apparently she contracted the 12 hour tummy bug because the next 12 hours were not so fun at our house! Every party has a pooper....

6. I LOVE preschool. Yes, I love the Bible stories and the education, but mostly I love the 4 hour break and the nap that Avery takes when she gets home. It's worth every penny in tuition fees... and the education is a great bonus.

7. I wore white after labor day.... yes that is a confession. 5 years ago, these clothes would already be put in the back of the closet for next year and I'd be wearing jeans, even if I were sweating to death in them.

8. A friend told me recently that her mom likes to read my blog and they talk about my confessions on the phone.... it made me SO happy! I love hearing that more than my mom and husband find 5 minutes of happiness out of it! I also recently discovered a friend's husband secretly likes my blog... and to think, I thought only my husband reads it! Your secret is out GB!

That being said, PLEASE comment here or on the fb link so I don't feel like such an out of control, crazy lady! Today I ACTUALLY feel someone together. Y'all, I showered, shaved my legs, curled my hair and wore a dress today... BIG day in the Wise household.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

1st day of Preschool!

Today was the first day of preschool and I'm just THRILLED! WAY more than the kids. I got up at 6 to get myself ready and by 6:15, little miss knocking on the shower door. Liam was up by 6:30 and Parker by 6:45 so my plan of an hour to myself for lunches, coffee, showers etc was foiled but we still managed to get everyone ready and have a quick photoshoot before hopping in swagger wagon to head to SCHOOL!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I might be a bit excited)

I ADORE my kids... but mama is ready for a break on those days when the kids are in school together. AND thanks to Tabitha, Liam goes to her house Tuesday and Thursdays from 8:30 - 11 so I still get some MUCH appreciated {ME} time!

 Avery's 1st day of 2 year preschool! She goes Tuesdays and Thursday Ms. Deanna is her teacher.
Could she be more precious?!
Thanks for the flag, mom!
Our 1st day of school signs! Avery's says "When I grow up, I want to be PARKER!"
Parker's says "When I grow up, I want to be Iron Man!" {shocker}
Yes, he wore a long sleeve LEGO shirt... and I wanted to cry....but he didn't shed a single tear getting ready this morning so that makes it worth it, right?
Come on Parker!
Sweet siblings!
Last year vs this year!

He's getting SO much bigger... and he has SO much more of an opinion. I think I don't really like that part! ;)

Here's to another wonderful school year!