Mid weekish Confessions

Life is funny. It's also hard. And frustrating. And overwhelming. And unfair. BUT with the right perspective, it's really freakin' funny.... especially with 3 toddlers. Let's all take a moment to laugh at my life....

1. I took all 3 kids into the Target bathroom last week which happened to be very busy. Avery is just recently potty trained so we hit up every public bathroom in site to avoid accidents. You should know I have a phobia of public restrooms to the point of having Parker pee on our tire in the parking lot to avoid them. This time I needed to go too and Avery asked if I was pooping or peeing (hello privacy?!). I told her I was just pee peeing which ended up being a lie thanks to 2 cups of coffee (TMI but hang in there). When I went to flush she yelled, "Mama, you pooped big! BYE POOP! BYE BYE!" while waiving to my swirling poop. I was MORTIFIED.

2. Yesterday, my friend Carrie, came over for a few minutes and the kids were kinda chaotic. Granted, she came over at 4:15 and here's a fair warning... from 4-6:00, someone is usually crying or whining or cracked out... it's my witching hours. Parker yelled for help because he climbed the pantry trying to reach fruit snacks and couldn't get down and Avery climbed our console table to blow out my candle (lesson learned) and then peed... all over the top of my table. There was also a pile of dishes in the sick (oh the horror!) These things don't normally phase me because it's my "normal" but when someone else is over and witnesses my "normal"... it feels not so normal!

3. This one isn't about pee... Parker will only wear Iron Man or LEGO shirts. You think I'm kidding... it gets better. ONLY the Iron Man Mark 42 suit and only the classic LEGO man. He has a closet of POLO and Kelly's Kids and OH the visions of sending P and A to school in coordinating outfits. I feel silly even being super kinda upset about it but I HATE character shirts! Don't ask me if your kid looks cute in his Superman shirt or her Tinkerbell shirt because the answer is no. This is a HUGE lesson in swallowing my pride.... a lesson I'm not super fond of. Fingers crossed that VERY soon he only wants to wear madras shorts and polo shirts. We have family pictures October 27th and I'm already fretting that he'll be wearing an Iron Man costume.... so much so that I asked his occupational therapist if I can pay her to dress him that day... I would, in a heart beat. 

4. Parker isn't very good at blowing so I've started lighting my pumpkin spice candle and having him practice blowing it out. Each time, he sings me happy birthday.... I pretty much love it. 

5. Dear neighborhood friends.... it was Avery who pooped on the side of the pool during the labor day party which then inadvertently got squirted in the pool. In my defense, she DID do her business in the toilet TWICE while we were at the party but apparently she contracted the 12 hour tummy bug because the next 12 hours were not so fun at our house! Every party has a pooper....

6. I LOVE preschool. Yes, I love the Bible stories and the education, but mostly I love the 4 hour break and the nap that Avery takes when she gets home. It's worth every penny in tuition fees... and the education is a great bonus.

7. I wore white after labor day.... yes that is a confession. 5 years ago, these clothes would already be put in the back of the closet for next year and I'd be wearing jeans, even if I were sweating to death in them.

8. A friend told me recently that her mom likes to read my blog and they talk about my confessions on the phone.... it made me SO happy! I love hearing that more than my mom and husband find 5 minutes of happiness out of it! I also recently discovered a friend's husband secretly likes my blog... and to think, I thought only my husband reads it! Your secret is out GB!

That being said, PLEASE comment here or on the fb link so I don't feel like such an out of control, crazy lady! Today I ACTUALLY feel someone together. Y'all, I showered, shaved my legs, curled my hair and wore a dress today... BIG day in the Wise household.

Midweek...Thursday....Confessions

It's been a while since doing midweek confessions so I thought that might be fun to liven up this windy, cold Thursday. Thursday is still midweek, right?

1. I got "the call" from preschool 30 minutes after drop off to pick Parker up from school. He had been home sick this week and his only symptom remaining was a cough so I sent him.... kid was hacking his lungs up at school.... since being home... maybe once or twice. Can my 3 year old really know how to fake sick already? He's currently jumping on the indoor trampoline yelling "to infinity and beyond!"

2. I ate leftover tacos for lunch.. and by "taco" I mean leftover taco meat in a tortilla wrap. I am HORRIBLE at estimating a week's worth of food. We always seem to have plenty of dinners, bits and pieces of leftovers that don't make a full meal (ie the "meat taco" with no condiments) and no snacks. I swear I look in my fridge and see tons of groceries and can never seem to make a full meal of it all. I'm in desperate need of meal planning 101.

3. You may have seen this on Facebook but Parker has a recent fascination with private parts which I think is a)hilarious b)mortifying c)developmentally normal or d) all of the above.....The answer is D.

He asked the check out lady at CVS "Excuse me, do you have a hooha or a pee pee?" which was mortifying but I may have been wondering the same thing. It was questionable if you know what I mean. This question has now become common conversation with strangers. He told my grandfather's renal doctor the other day: "I has a pee pee and my mommy has a hooha." FABULOUS. Thankfully, the doctor took it in stride and proceeded to tell us the story of a kid with a dead chipmunk head in his mouth... and I'm not sure how it correlated but I was glad to not be talking about my lady parts anymore. All that to say....  if you pass us in Harris Teeter or Target, prepare yourself to discuss your genitals.

4. The potty gods felt bad about how difficult Parker was to potty train and decided to cut me some slack with Avery. She has started stripping and running to the potty and is about 50% successful right now. She's had maybe 2 accidents and does the rest in a diaper if we're not home or she's being lazy. If she's naked, she'll go in the potty... which is a great strategy for at home... not so great at the grocery store. We've had the "we don't pee on our princess panties" chat and she's all like "You may not but I do..." So if you come to my house... there is a good chance my kid is naked... but it's all in the name of being done with diapers, halleluiah amen!

5. Sometimes I host play dates or girl's nights as motivation to clean my house... I'm always excited to see my friends and I want to get together but that added pressure of hosting is what really kicks my butt to clean when I don't want to. Awful, I know.

6. I've already started stressing thinking about what we'll all wear for spring family photos... which I haven't even scheduled. We all know how the "A Very Old Navy Christmas Card" shoot went.... and I only stressed about that for a month. The good news is, I have a vision and maybe even a color scheme picked out so I think I'm on the path to that elusive frame worthy family photo! ...and it does NOT include Old Navy...

I'm hearing the phrase "Avery, that's dangerous" being spoken upstairs so that's my cue to quit! Your turn! Comment here or on FB with your confessions!

Update: She was sitting in my sewing chair which is a no no. Clearly Parker was listening when I told him my sewing machine is dangerous!