Saturday, October 8, 2011

I Am

While I was blogging, I found myself listening to a song that Kelly posted Friday. It's called "I Am" by Nicole Nordeman. The song is posted at the bottom of this post (make sure to turn off my blog music) God knew I needed to hear this today. It played the whole time I was writing my last post and only when I hit "publish" did I really listen to the lyrics. Man was it convicting.... and I needed it.

I'm going to be honest. I'm not the parent I want to be. If we're all honest with ourselves, most of us probably aren't. When Parker whines or Avery doesn't sleep I find myself getting frustrated... but very rarely praying. My children don't act any differently than James Dobson's or any other parenting expert but instead of asking God for wisdom, patience, understanding and grace, I just feel upset until something good happens that levels it out. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm wasting time being frustrated that I could be spending being happy.... giving it to God... extending grace.... disciplining in love instead of frustration... swinging...taking stroller rides.

This song convicted me of how QUICKLY my babies are growing up and what a role I'm playing in their lives despite their inability to tell me so. What a HUGE responsibility these precious children are! They truly are sponges that just soak up everything you say and do. I need to be better about leading by example. Loving through my actions. Building more forts. Practicing more flash cards. Singing more songs. Turning the TV off. Tickling on the floor more...even if it is covered in dog hair! I think it boils down to parenting with a purpose. I want my children to know and love the Lord, to be well rounded, happy, well behaved... and I need to be more intentional with my actions to accomplish those goals.

Lord, I thank you for bringing me to this song today. Thank you for my precious babies that you gifted me on this Earth. I pray you help Daniel and I shape them into Godly children and adults. Specifically, I pray for patience when I'm frustrated, discernment when I don't know what to do, wisdom to know I'm making the right decisions, and wise counsel and friends to walk this journey with. I ask for grace and the ability to give it to others, compassion and strength. Lord, thank you for being there for me even when I didn't reach out to you and attempted to do it all on my own. Thank you for the blessings of my husband and children and help me always see them as such. Amen. 


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