Friday, October 15, 2010

Middle School Yearbook Wisdom

Recently, in the process of cleaning out the guest room to make Parker's big boy room, I ran across some "treasures." How these items made it into the house is beyond me but I think Daniel may have sneaked them in while I was sleeping! Guess how many trench coats he has? 3. Guess how many he's worn in the 3 years we've been married? 0. They have been relocated.... to the homeless shelter. So, if you see a homeless man wearing a shiny silver stretch cotton t-shirt with a black trench coat and Marine issue combat boots... my husband unknowingly donated those items.

In the midst of 40+ computer text books (all now outdated... ps- who doesn't sell those back at the end of the semester?) I found my husband's yearbooks! All the awkward years.... MIDDLE SCHOOL (plus high school but he was kinda hot then)! My hubby and I spent the whole night going through them and laughing at the tidbits of middle school wisdom! Some were too good not to share!

1994 (Daniel's 7th grade year) - "Practice safe sex as much as you can because you can't catch AIDS in the palm of your hand." - Chris R. (I'm going to spare the last names)
* Seriously... 7th grade. Can we say inappropriate?! My mom would have flipped if a kid wrote that in my yearbook. I'd be banned from ever speaking to him again! ha ha On the other hand.... quite wise of a 7th grader. Someone was listening in sex ed.

1994 (7th grade) - "Live long and prosper. PS- I hope you fail." - Josh W.
* What a sweet friend, right? Boys... a girl would have never written that!

1994 (7th grade) - "Daniel, You are so sorry. Hope to have you in my class next year so I can whoop your butt in anything and everything. You misspelled awesome in my annual last year. See ya Mr. UnWise!" - Lance C.
* I'm assuming with a name like "Lance" he feels the need to assert himself with aggression. I wonder how many times Parker is going to have to be called "UnWise" from silly kids? Oh well... it hasn't seemed to scar my husband!

1994 (7th grade) - "Daniel, sorry if I spelled your name wrong. I don't know you at all. (she didn't scratch it out too well.) I hope you have a grate summer, and see you in 8th grade. KIT (her number) and maybe I'll get to know you." Heidi R.
* Bless her heart. Maybe in 8th grade she'll learn to spell "great."  I wonder if my husband ever called her. ha ha

1994 (7th grade) - "Kurt Cobain LIVES!" - Eddie V.
* I didn't even know who Kurt Cobain was in the 7th grade!

1994 (7th grade) - "I. I did. I did this. I did this to. I did this to take. I did this to take up. I did this to take up more. I did this to take up more space." - Hammtrall S.
* Now THIS is how I remember the 7th grade going down! If you looked at my 7th grade yearbook it's full of dorky notes like this!

1994 (7th grade)- "R.H.A.S.L, Have a good life and never ever listen to your parents." William C.
* I have NO CLUE what that abbreviation stands for! Apparently William never planned to see Daniel again but if I could contact him, I would tell him that Daniel, is indeed, having a good life! ;) I'm also assuming William has a slight issue with authority, Hopefully, he's worked that out. ha ha

1998 (11th grade) - " Wise, stay off the roids. You know they make your nuts shrink don't you? Knock some heads off in football and win some games. Your friend, Scott B"
* Well Scott, I'm pleased to announce that Daniel's "nuts" are in excellent working condition which I can only attribute to your sound advice of steering clear of roids!

1998 (11th grade) - "Daniel, you're a small, weak, (alternative word for a small feline). Just jokin'! Kick Ass, Zorro!" -Eric K.
* I'm loving all of the positive affirmations from boys! Jeeze!

1999 (12th grade) - "Lets try to do cok next year." - Kevin W.
*Kevin... this is TERRIBLE advice and I'm glad this never occurred... but it did make for a nice laugh 11 years later. Hopefully, you never took your own advice!

1999 (12th grade) - Paul left a generic boring message BUT I did love the end. "KIT (phone number 1) (home), (phone number 2)(2nd home line), (phone number 3)(pager), (phone number 4)(cellular)"
* Paul must have REALLY wanted Daniel to contact him! I'm loving the "pager" number and the "cellular." Who says "cellular?!" he he

1997 (10th grade) - "Daniel, Have a great summer, stay out of trouble, try to get laid, it's been fun working with you this year. I hope you achieve your goals in life." Your manager, Brandon B.
*I'm not sure what's weirder, that Daniel's boss signed his yearbook or that he advised his 10th grade grocery store employee to "get laid." Thankfully, Daniel made the move to life guarding and did not, in fact, get laid that summer.

1997 (10th grade) - "Daniel, have a coll summer and try not to go to jail." Jeffrey J.
*Sound advice, Jeffrey. I wonder if the 11th grade taught Jeff to spell "cool?" The funny thing about this one is I know Jeff and he's really done well for himself in life! Maybe he took his own advice and stayed out of jail!

While I could go on and on.... these were my favorites. Isn't it so fun to go back and reminiscence years later!? Man, middle schoolers are cruel... all the while being super funny! :)


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