Adios Butterflies... hello babies!

ALL 5 of my tumors have shrunk! WOO HOO! One even shrunk by 1/3 it's size! The biggest one went from 5 cm to 3 1/2 cm which is A-MAZ-ING! There has been no new growth and my cell counts look healthy! The best news... I'm in the clear if we want to expand the family. Who wouldn't want more if they'd all be as cute and sweet as this!?!


SO... on that note..... goodnight ;)

Butterflies

I get my CT scan results back tomorrow and I have to say, I'm a little nervous. I shouldn't be! God healed me and I AM CANCER FREE but something about getting these results back always puts butterflies in my stomach. In March of 2008 I had a routine scan that turned out was not so routine. Unfortunately, my cancer came back and it was news I wasn't expecting to hear. My tumor had become active again just 2 months after I finished chemo. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I felt like it was SO unfair and I felt defeated that day. I wore a polka dot dress to the oncologist office with my spiky hair and tan heels. They told me my chances to make a full recovery would be 40-60%. BUT as we know.... percentages and chances don't matter to God. His plan for my life was 100% recovery through His healing powers!

Back to today.... When I get close to a CT scan, I notice myself being hypersensitive about any pain, sniffle or cough. I've noted everything I've felt for a month on a piece of paper. My poor oncologist is in for a LONG appointment! I'm pretty sure 99% of my "so called symptoms" can be explained by chasing around a toddler and going to bed too late! Tired? Sore? Random Headaches? Your probably thinking "I have all of those symptoms! Do I have cancer too?" These weren't even my symptoms when I did have cancer but you have to understand, I do and probably always will think that 1st! I'm betting that's pretty normal for people who have my medical history.

I KNOW I'm still healed and I don't feel like I'm doubting God... I feel more like I'm doubting this broken down body of mine... or maybe my "luck." Seriously, who has cancer, twice, is told they'll never have have kids, has one, gets attacked by a dog, has pre-eclampsia and has a preemie all in 3 years? ME! ha ha. I LOVE my life and am thankful for my blessings but I sure did go through 3 years of storms to get them! I'm hoping my run of blessings isn't up yet! I'm really enjoying this run of "good things!"

This scan also means a lot to me because Daniel and I are ready to make Parker a sister (or brother if God has a different plan in mind). I really need this scan to come back great to feel comfortable going through a pregnancy since I can't have scans during those 10 months and if my cancer were to come back then, we'd we left with an impossible decision.... one I'm praying and believing I'll never have to make!

All that to say.... I have butterflies that I look forward to releasing tomorrow at 12:45!

Quick to Annoy

Let me start by saying: I LOVE MY LIFE. I LOVE MY FAMILY. I LOVE THE LORD ..... but lately I've been quick to annoy. Not necessarily to anger but very quick to be annoyed with someone, something or a situation. I'm not sure when this "quick to annoy" thing started. Patience has never been a virtue of mine and I've really been working on not rushing through life. I suppose in the meantime of not rushing, I've stopped to smell the roses.... and find more things that annoy me. ha ha I decided to make a list which I'm sure many of you will find humorous or relate to. These annoyances are in no particular order:

1. People who are not considerate of my time. Just because I'm a stay at home mom, doesn't mean I don't value my time or have things to do! (This one probably is #1 though!... major pet peeve!)
2. Being late and people who are always late. 3pm is not 3:30, 3:15 or even 3:05.... it means 2:58.
3. People who text and drive. Please go when the light is green. Stop when it's red and stop putting my kid in danger of dying over a stupid text that is likely meaningless.
4. People who act intelligent but aren't. If you aren't smart, find another good quality and brag about that one instead. We can't all be Einsteins. ha ha Acting smart when you aren't smart in the 1st place makes you sound even less intelligent than you may actually be.
5. Waiting! I don't much enjoy waiting for anything. I'm a "I want it now kinda girl!" If I want something bad enough, I'll pay to rush ship it.
6. Doing things 90% of the way. If you can't do the task 100% right, don't do it! I'd rather do it right the 1st time, MYSELF!
7. Not writing down my dinner order. It is not sexy or impressive for a waiter to act like they remember my complex order. I don't enjoy sending it back. JUST WRITE IT DOWN!
8. Not knowing plans until last minute. I like at least a week's notice. I'm not a spurt of the moment kind of girl. I like to plan, look forward to it, prepare for it, etc... whatever "it" is!
9. Bad parents.... particularly bad moms. I'm not a perfect mom and I don't know everything BUT here are some things that drive me bananas:
a. moms who put their kids (toddlers) to bed late (ie...10-midnight) and let them sleep until (10-11). That isn't healthy for you or your kid. Put them to bed earlier!
b. Leaving your kids in the car... ever.... no excuse
c. Hitting your child. (I don't mean spanking) I mean HITTING. Slapping etc.
d. Moms who don't punish their kids for bad behavior
e. "Boys will be boys" is not an excuse for why your kid hits or bites
f. If you can't give up alcohol for 9 months while you're pregnant, don't have a kid
g. If you can't afford a baby, wrap it up and prevent one
h. There are many more but this list is upsetting me ha ha
10. Dogs tied to trees. If you're going to tie your dog to a tree, don't get one. They are supposed to be a part of the family! Do you tie your kid to a tree?
11. Drinking and Driving. I'm amazed at the amount of people who think this is ok... or even funny. I've seen FB post of people bragging about their drunk driving accidents! SERIOUSLY! I prefer to die of old age, thank you....
12. Selfishness. It's really unbecoming. Everyone deserves a little "me" time but there should be a balance of "me" time and "you" time.
13. Bicyclist when they ride 3 and 4 wide on a single lane road. PLEASE pick a 4 lane road and ride single file! I REALLY don't want to hit you but if I can't pass you, it isn't sharing the road or safe for anyone.
14. Poor grammar/speech. Don't rag on my grammar in the blog format here. My thoughts aren't grammatically correct!.... I mean verbally. (ie.... Asked/Axed. I asked you to do something. I did NOT axed you to do something.)
15. People who play the "victim." 95% of the time, I bet you weren't.
16. Belittlers. I think they do this to make themselves feel better SO the secret's out... you really just have poor self esteem!
17. When people make something a racial issue that wasn't. (ie. The cop didn't shoot your brother because he was black. They shot him because he was shooting at the cop kinda thing.)
18. People who drive too slow and likewise people who speed excessively.
19. Giving me incorrect change because you can't do simple math. If the bill is $1.88 and I give you $2, I get $0.12 back. I can't tell you how many times I've had to help cashiers with this simple math.
20. Ignorance. A lot goes on in our world! Follow it. Read a newspaper, watch the news, read online... there is a WEALTH of information about current events! Read it, form opinions and know where you stand. You should have an opinion on decisions the government makes on your behalf! Indifference on political issue is ignorance.

Wow... that was therapeutic. What did you think of my list? Do you agree? Did I miss anything?

I'm sure there are more but 20 already makes me seem like a super annoyed person! I swear I'll do a list of things I love soon and it will be more than 20 long!

Boogers on the Baseboards

My best Clemson girlfriends are coming in town this weekend for a wedding and I am SOOO excited to see them... BUT..... you know what their visit means? Cleaning..... like serious cleaning and guess what........ I've accomplished maybe 15% of what I wanted to get done as to avoid constant "Please excuse my house's." The thing is... they.don't.care! They're non-judgmental... I'M the one judging my house.

I guarantee they won't notice the boogers on my baseboards, the ravioli stain on the wall or the fact that my centerpiece orchid died today (I forgot about the poor thing on the patio yesterday when I was re-potting it! TEAR... I kept it alive for 2 years which is a lifetime for plants in my house). The thing is.... I will notice. I will slide my body around the room so I'm covering the stain on the wall that could be easily fixed if I would just do touch up paint on the stain, pick all the boogers off the wall and make a trip to Home Depot in the morning for a new orchid.... but I won't. I'll vacuum, sweep, mop (possibly!), clean their bathroom, put new sheets on the bed and apologize once an hour, on the hour, for everything else.

I ALWAYS find something else to do instead of clean. I LOVE a clean house and it is usually acceptably clean but I'd LOVE to be one of those moms who can open her door anytime and it look impeccable. You know who you are and I hate you! Wanna know what else I really can't stand? No... well, I'll tell you anyways.... moms who work and say "if I were a stay at home mom, my house would be clean all of the time." Lights me on fire. WRONG! If you were a stay at home mom, your kids would also be home and thus your home will look like a tornado comes through once an hour. I say this from experience with a T-5 tornado of my own.

Blogging is a nice distraction from cleaning. So is facebook, errands, neighborhood friends, re-reading Eclipse for the 3rd time, shopping, walking the dogs, playing with Parker, plucking my eyebrows..... you get it... and I've done them all now.... so I guess it's time to .... (duh duh duh......) CLEAN! One day I'll figure this whole "balancing act out" ..... won't I?