I've been on a blogging hiatus because by the end of the day lately my brain no longer functions. I'm having difficulties putting full, eloquent sentences together in my usual charming whit. I. am. exhausted.
Moms, I am needing some wine help/advice/empathy/encouragement... really anything other than "my child acted like that until he was 6" or "wait until he turns 3! It gets worse!"
"Acted like what," you ask?
THIS:
This is Parker screaming on the floor in Target. There was also a little jumping, rolling and kicking... it was just lovely. This particular tantrum was over me not buying him another Woody doll. I'm sure you're thinking "why did you take him to the toy section, crazy lady!" ... I didn't. We were in the baby section buying tights for Avery and he made a mad dash for the toy section. He was given time out on the end cap until I was too embarrassed to sit there any longer with him screaming. Target at 5pm on a Friday is a mad house and of course I saw a bunch of people I knew... and did my very best to ignore. I was embarrassed enough already. I wanted OUT!
The poor check out girl couldn't have been a day over 16 and was commenting about how cute Avery was (in the stroller with a big ass bow and huge grin on her face)... Parker was under my arm flailing and screaming... the sweet girl asked "Ah... cute kids! Do you just love being a mom?!" In my frustration, I answered "no" and told her I'm a big fan of absence. sigh. Do you ever say things and immediately wish you could take them back? This would be one of those times.
I'm just beside myself. I know this behavior is normal but it isn't "my Parker!" He's sweet and has small meltdowns but for the last 3 weeks we've had full out inconsolable tantrums. He also cries 2-3 times a night for extended periods of time and has started getting up during naps. Check this out... instead of napping yesterday, he pulled out every toy he could find and all of his clothes:
I just don't know what to do anymore!?! I feel So frustrated, completely defeated, exhausted...and like I'm failing him. I feel like I must be doing something wrong for him to think he can act like that. Or maybe he's acting out for attention? Reacting to change? Growing pains? Teething? Possessed? Pushing his limits? Tired? Frustrated over his inability to communicate? I just don't know and that upsets me. I want so badly to make it better but I just don't know what "it" is!
Have any of you been through something similar? How do I get my happy boy back?
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we are in the EXACT same boat with Riley right now -- she would have the occasional breakdown but her tantrums seemed to have tripled in intensity and frequency! When you find help please let me know!!
ReplyDeletehey dude, kat here! i'm not a mom - actually, your posting one of many excellent examples why i will never have kids - but i do have a lot of child care experience and a background in psychology...
ReplyDeletesorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your child is broken and, yeah, possessed. call the catholic church, schedule an exorcism, and buy holy water en masse.
kidding. sounds like parker is dealing with his first dose of big-kid jealousy. has he started getting into her crib yet or reverted to babytalk? yes, part of his emotional insanity is probably age- and growth-related, but i wouldn't be surprised if he's acting out to get attention: you were getting avery new toys, naturally he assumed he deserved new toys too, and by telling him he couldn't get a woody (biting my tongue off on that one), you were showing favor to the new intruder. i've seen pictures of and read clear examples of little man loving his littler sister, but he's still got a lot to cope with as far as his mommy no longer being just his.
when i was a nanny (yes, i nannied - two-three, five-six, and newborn), my toddler went through the same thing, and something that really helped our situation was sitting and talking with him, and asking him why he was so angry... although roman (my aforementioned toddler) was young, he was able to express his jealousy pretty clearly, that though he loved the baby, it made him "mad" and "sad," too.
maybe try the same with parker? sit him down, talk it out with him, and ask him not only why he's being so tantrum-y, but also what would make him feel better. also, if you're not already doing it, set aside special mom + parker time and dad + parker time -- no baby, just you or hubby and mr. crankypants... and, if that doesn't work, come visit us in nola and we'll get a voodoo priestess to check him out.
Kat... I just adore you!! This gave me a much needed laugh! I've been doing some research and I've come to determine this is totally normal behavior for his age (although unwelcomed!). Parker got lots of daddy/Parker time today which he's been severely lacking and he had a pretty good day behavior wise. I also picked my battles and let him stay in his beloved monkey jammies all day. He also seems to be physically changing a lot. He's getting tall and thin suddenly so I also think that may have something to do with his night time fussing. We'll see! We're hanging in there! Lots of talks about behavior and why he's acting that way... time outs... hugs etc going on here! If it doesn't work, I was considering signing him up to be a test subject for focus on the family or shipping him to James Dobson but I'll keep the voodoo people on the back burner! :)
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