I Am

While I was blogging, I found myself listening to a song that Kelly posted Friday. It's called "I Am" by Nicole Nordeman. The song is posted at the bottom of this post (make sure to turn off my blog music) God knew I needed to hear this today. It played the whole time I was writing my last post and only when I hit "publish" did I really listen to the lyrics. Man was it convicting.... and I needed it.

I'm going to be honest. I'm not the parent I want to be. If we're all honest with ourselves, most of us probably aren't. When Parker whines or Avery doesn't sleep I find myself getting frustrated... but very rarely praying. My children don't act any differently than James Dobson's or any other parenting expert but instead of asking God for wisdom, patience, understanding and grace, I just feel upset until something good happens that levels it out. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm wasting time being frustrated that I could be spending being happy.... giving it to God... extending grace.... disciplining in love instead of frustration... swinging...taking stroller rides.

This song convicted me of how QUICKLY my babies are growing up and what a role I'm playing in their lives despite their inability to tell me so. What a HUGE responsibility these precious children are! They truly are sponges that just soak up everything you say and do. I need to be better about leading by example. Loving through my actions. Building more forts. Practicing more flash cards. Singing more songs. Turning the TV off. Tickling on the floor more...even if it is covered in dog hair! I think it boils down to parenting with a purpose. I want my children to know and love the Lord, to be well rounded, happy, well behaved... and I need to be more intentional with my actions to accomplish those goals.

Lord, I thank you for bringing me to this song today. Thank you for my precious babies that you gifted me on this Earth. I pray you help Daniel and I shape them into Godly children and adults. Specifically, I pray for patience when I'm frustrated, discernment when I don't know what to do, wisdom to know I'm making the right decisions, and wise counsel and friends to walk this journey with. I ask for grace and the ability to give it to others, compassion and strength. Lord, thank you for being there for me even when I didn't reach out to you and attempted to do it all on my own. Thank you for the blessings of my husband and children and help me always see them as such. Amen. 

The BEST part of being a parent!

There are parts of parenting I REALLY dislike.... discipline, tantrum management, blow out poop, spit up on a clean shirt... you know what I'm talking about. THEN there are parts of parenting that are AWESOME! Today was one of those days! I took a morning nap with Avery thanks to Daniel who played with Parker, put up dishes, folded laundry and straightened up the kitchen... I know... A-MAZ-ING! Man, did that start the day off right! Our new dishwasher came at 11:15, only 45 minutes after our time slot which I consider a success, was installed and is now functioning! WOO HOO! After lunch and naps, we headed to Carowinds! YIPPEE! 

This is where our day got SUPER fun! We've had some not so wonderful experiences at Carowinds when Parker won't ride anything but today he was fearless! Back to the title... one of the best parts about being a parent is reliving fun childhood memories through your children's eyes. It is SO gratifying to watch them enjoy something that you also enjoyed as a child (or maybe still do!). 

We started at the water park:

I promise this is Parker swimming, not drowning. He's fearless in the water!

Our awful but best attempt at a shot of the kid's matching swim suits.

Then we headed to Parker's beloved Snoopy train:

Of course, no Carowinds experience would be complete without a spin around the carousel. Parker searched long and hard for the girliest horse he could find!

 We took MANY rides in the boat! Always the yellow one, of course!

The kids were FANTASTIC! Not even a single whine from either of them! Super dad Baby Bjorned (yes that is a verb) Avery for a while when Parker and I re-rode (also a new verb) the rides over and over. 5-8 is a great time to go. No lines! Super dad and I had a great time and so did the kids! Fingers crossed for a WONDERFUL night's sleep! Tonight is Avery's 1st night in her crib (well... at least she's starting the night in her crib.) 1 1/2 hours so far! That may be a record!

In MY opinion....

I've always been an opinionated person. There was a time in my life when I was just sure my opinion was always right and I LOVED to debate it! (ie.... week long debate in the 8th grade with the pastor of a church over the meaning of predestination) Something about arguing for what I felt was right got my blood pumping! I swear I was meant to be a bulldog of an attorney!

That all changed after having cancer. To be honest, cancer didn't change my life THAT much but it did change my outlook on a few things. One of which was drama..... man did I love drama. You know how you're not supposed to talk about politics, religion or money with friends (I think sex is in there too but that SOO much fun to talk about with a glass of wine so we'll leave that in play!)... well none of those topics used to be off limits. I'm pretty sure I've ruined a BBQ or 2 with my passionate takes on America's debt crisis, Islam, foriegn policy etc...

Whether it was cancer or a coming of age, I've finally realized it's OK to have an opinion whether it's based on fact or feeling BUT it's also OK for someone else to disagree; furthermore, it does NOT mean we need to debate it! You see, in my former years.... it was not OK for people to disagree and everyone had to think alike (alike me that is) and if you didn't, I would make you ... doesn't that sound like a fun world? ha ha

Testing this "new me" has recently come up a lot with my new venture into the toddler years! Boy does everyone parent differently! The more friends we make, the more opinions fly. As a 1st time mom to a toddler I've got a lot of questions and we're figuring this out as we go. Pointers, suggestions and "this is how we do its" are so helpful but I find them most helpful when given as such... suggestions...pointers... and tips... not "you're doing it wrongs" or "my baby book says not to do thats!" Moms you know what I'm talking about! I bet in your mind you're making a list of people who do this or situations you've been in where you're biting your tongue so hard it starts to bleed! In fact, I think I have been guilty of doing this here or there and I really want to make an effort not!

I think as mommies talking about our kids is kinda like talking about politics.... it's a subject we're passionate about it! That doesn't mean we should STOP talking about our kids but what it does mean is that we should agree to disagree on how we want to raise them. Isn't parenting really just our opinions on how we think we can best set our children up to be what we consider (in our opinions) to be independent, upstanding adults? So if I want to spank and you don't... cool; If I think it's OK for my son to wear purple and you think I'm making him gay... maybe so but I hope he adopts one day; If my son eats grapes and you're sure your baby book says not to until he's 2... then it's a good thing I know the Heimlich....

To each is own, right... well in my opinion :)