5 years cancer free!!!!

As of January 31st I am officially in remission from Hodgkin's Lymphoma! What a difference 5 years makes! God is SO good!

I went from having just graduated college, working in marketing, newly married and building our 1st home to cancer in just 7 months. I've always told people God was into the details with me. By accident, I took too many credit hours in college and graduated a semester early so Daniel and I moved our wedding up from the summer to April. I got a job working at a marketing company that had a waiting period for health insurance of 6 months. I started feeling sick in May and would rally for a few days and then feel worse again. As frustrated as I was that it took doctors 3 months to figure out what was wrong with me, if they had been quick, my insurance wouldn't have kicked in yet.... and I would certainly be in a very different financial situation than I am now! I had full insurance for 11 days when I was given my diagnosis! The company I was hired by let me work from home when I didn't feel well or when my cell count was too low to be in public which was a huge blessing. Graduating early meant that I had a job, insurance and a husband during my cancer. God is SO good!

I called the oncologist this week and asked "What does this 5 year mark mean for me?" We've always just discussed the plan to remission. Well.... it's here so now what? Honestly, not much changes on the treatment/prevention front but mentally, it feels different. Each time I've gone for a scan, I've sat down and thought out a "what if" plan. What if it's back? What if I have to move to Duke? What would I do with the kids? It was always comforting to my Type A self to have a plan... thankfully one that I've never had to implement. I'm not saying I'll never think these thoughts again but the "what ifs" don't seem to bare as much weight anymore. It's liberating. God is SO good!

I finally sat down and watched this season of Parenthood. The one where Kristina has breast cancer. While our cancers were different, I related to each step of her journey from diagnosis, to waiting for treatment, to the 1st chemo, days of consuming massive amounts of sugar, days where you want to retreat, moments where people stare awkwardly at you, having fun with wigs, set backs and that last chemo treatment where you finally see the light at the end of the nauseating tunnel. I'm just SO thankful that my experience was while I was young, otherwise healthy and without children. That definitely would have been so much harder. I praise God for sparing my children from that and for giving me children despite my grim odds! God is SO good!

Like I said, God is SO into the details with me. My mom prayed the vainest prayer ever and asked God to not let me eye brows and eye lashes fall out so I didn't look so sick. Check the pictures... they thinned but I kept them! He saved some of my eggs so I could have these miracle babies. Oh how I love parading them into the oncology office dressed ridiculously cute with big ass bows on. Despite the trail of crushed goldfish we leave in the office, I think they brighten some of the patient's days. God is SO good!

Tomorrow I'm having a party... for me.... thrown by me where we will celebrate.... me. We'll also be celebrating God's goodness, grace and mercy but I' not sure if God likes to celebrate with wine and cake as much as I do.  I thought this was going to be a great idea and now I feel silly for doing it but is there really a better reason to throw a party, drink margaritas, eat cake and dance? I think not. To being 5 years cancer free!!!! CHEERS!


I thought I'd share personal photos of that time. I believe I've shared 1 or 2 before but not these. Excuse the pictures of pictures. These aren't on my computer anymore.

The day I had my hair cut off for locks of love

Goodbye pretty hair!

Receiving my 2nd chemo. Steroids for nausea packed on the pounds fast. I may be the only cancer patient to gain 15 pounds during chemo but at least I felt better than most! Sour patch kids give you a momentary break from your mouth tasting like metal.  The dose of chemo I took made me hot and sweaty one moment and freezing the next so in most pictures I wore a tank top, coat and a blanket to cover all temperature changes.

This is how I slept during chemo thanks to ambien. I STILL miss ambien sleep. BEST pharmaceutical drug ever created. You sleep for 8 hours and wake up ready to conquer the day. Tear.... until we meet again, ambien.

This was me at my sickest. You can tell I was a weird shade of green, puffy and my eyes were pretty lifeless. The woman on the right was my infusion nurse.

After my 1st clean scan! My mother actually had dairy queen make a cake that said "Taylor kicked cancer in the ass." Not a word I've ever heard her throw around! :) Also, what in the world am I wearing? Anyways, still looking green but certainly happy to have a clean scan... and eat ice cream cake.

Brittney Spears shaved her head, wore a shirt like this and beat a man's car with an umbrella while I was bald so I rocked this for Halloween. I can't tell how how many dumb people in the grocery store would ask me when they saw my bald head:  "You a big Brittney Spears fan?" Quite the opposite, thank you!

Unbalanced

I know! I know! I've been a bad blogger again! We've had a nasty case of the "Oh my gosh! How much more snot can you possibly have left in you?!?" yuckies. All 4 of us.... I fought it off for 6 days before my tired body just couldn't take it anymore. {Sniffle}

While everyone has been sick, I've been doing some serious snuggling and DVR/amazon prime streaming TV catch up. I believe we've seen each episode of Super Why at least 3 times and I've got some riveting insights to share but I won't bore you with those. Except for 1... I have confirmed the dog's name is Woofster... not Webster which I think is WAY cuter and makes much more sense.... I mean, he is the character with dictionary power after all. OK, I lied... 1 more.... Phil Collins does not, in fact, sing the theme song to Super Why but someone should call his agent. He certainly had me fooled.

Speaking of amazon prime... I am LOVING it! Daniel's company gave us a Roku media player for Christmas so we linked it to our amazon prime account to stream movies and shows. It has a ton of kid's stuff and Thomas' we've never seen so that alone is worth it! I've recently become a Parenthood addict. I watched the 1st season when it came out but I'm now up to the end of season 3 thanks to multiple sleepless nights rocking Avery in the recliner. What did moms of sick kids do all night before DVR and streaming TV?!

I haven't taken any photos on my camera since Christmas since we've all looked like death but I do post the cute/funny ones to instagram so feel free to find me at "taylorwise" for an overload of awesomeness.

Lastly.... I am jumping on the "yearly word to live by" blog train. I've enjoyed reading everyone's with a cute graphic button or picture with the word eloquently scribed on their framed chalkboards but I'm on a time crunch to power blog during nap time! I'm going with "unbalanced." You're tilting your head to the side right now and going "what?" Let me explain.

I often find myself feeling inadequate... whether it be as a wife, as a mother, house keeper, meal cooker, friend, tiny business owner. I feel like I fall short a lot. I say "no" almost never and often find myself not quite drowning but barely treading water. I've always like to excel. I like being good at something. I can be a wonderful mother, a great wife, an adequate cook, clean enough to not get ecoli but straightened enough for company to not know the difference kind of woman but not at the same time.

So... this year. I will strive to be unbalanced. My kids and husband are weighted the heaviest... 1st priority. Parker goes to preschool 4 days a week in September and Avery 2 days a week. This is my last year to have them home this much and I want to soak it up! Laundry will get done after I chuff Percy to the wash down with Parker. Dishes will get done after Avery's baby dolls have been sufficiently strolled around the house in the wagon. Last year, I would have played trains for 2 minutes then run off to fold 2 shirts then come back to play with Avery then back to fold 2 pairs of pants. Everything is getting done but none of it well or efficiently. I want my kids to know I love them by the time I dedicate to them because if I've learned anything with the recent tragedies in CT, it's that we aren't guaranteed anymore days or minutes than the ones we are currently living. So, motherhood/great wife are the things I've chosen to be good at this year and everything will get done when it gets done.

Health comes next on my list. This includes being more active personally as well as continuing my path to healthier eating as a family.... and sometimes when Parker is in school... having a brief but delicious affair with a Qdoba queso burrito.

So yes... UNBALANCED. A year of weighting my priorities. A year of putting off things until nap time and bed time if my kids needs me more.

What word would you pick to represent how you want to live in 2013?

CHRISTmas 2012

This Christmas I really tried to be in the moment. Its so easy to miss it behind the camera. I took some pictures of the kids... none posed or frame worthy but precious in their own way. This was definitely a Christmas to remember but instead of paragraphs of details, I'll highlight it with the candid pictures I did snap. Thankfully, the joy and excitement my kids experienced will forever be ingrained in my memory.

We started the festivities with our annual Happy Birthday Jesus party with a few friends on Friday the 21st. 

On Christmas Eve, Lester left the kids their Christmas Eve PJs. I (I mean Lester) couldn't resist these Santa and Elf jammies.

We spent Christmas Eve at my parent's house. I'm SO glad we opened their presents then or I think Christmas Day would have been really overwhelming. 1st we ate a delicious lunch of steak and then headed to Christmas service at church. Parker did AMAZING sitting in service and Avery was tolerable. They may have consumed an entire bag of pretzel sticks and Avery did yell "YAY!" after every song... and army crawl under the pews BUT I was pleased we never had to take either out to roam the halls. 

As usual, the kids were wildly blessed (also known as spoiled!) with gifts!

Avery riding Parker's scooter

Parker shooting Aunt Kathy with a Nerf gun

The kids love my parent's dog, Peyton!

I told them, "Let's get a picture with Pey Pey" and this is how they posed themselves! haha

Daniel and my dad

 We drove home and got the kids settled in bed before we poured some wine and started trampoline installation! We said goodbye to our dining room table (aka Avery's dance studio) and replaced it with a ridiculous looking 7 foot indoor trampoline. We are parents of the year.... but no one without toddlers is allowed in our home or they'll make fun of us! haha

Daniel woke up first so excited to show the kids their presents but I made him go back to sleep until Avery woke up. She woke up way too early also so she watched a super why episode in our bed before we woke Mr. P up. 

The proverbial sitting on the step waiting to see what Santa brought picture!

Eyeing their loot!

Santa brought Avery a cottage

Santa brought Parker lots of new Thomas Trains including a TALKING DIESEL 10!!!! It's ALL he's wanted! He got a wooden one AND a die cast one! He must have been a VERY good boy!

Le Tired. They'll sleep one day, right?!

My parents and grandparents came to our house for lunch on Christmas Day. I SLAVED over a Stouffer's lasagna and Texas toast that I served on paper plates. Only the best for my sweet family!

My mom, dad and sister (who flew in from NYC!)

My grammie and grandaddy

Kelly, my mom and myself

Once they left, Avery napped and the rest of us recoperated a bit before round 3! Daniel's mom, boyfriend and our nephew came for dinner and MORE presents!

Blue Mountain Quarry was also a big hit with Parker!

I was sideways exhausted at this point and totally gave up on picture taking! The kids had a good time and played until they were WAY overtired! Once in bed, they were OUT...until 4:45am when they both woke up for the day to play with their toys! WHEW! It was an EARLY morning that looked a lot like this...

Parker playing trains, Avery pantless walking imaginary dogs on a leash and Thomas on the TV!

Another BLESSED WONDERFUL CHRISTmas at the Wise household!

Merry Christmas from the Wise Family!

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